I hate feeling this way. I’m depressed and can’t tell you why. I get angry and really can’t tell you why. It’s everything yet it’s nothing. Thoughts run through my head like Nascar on crack, moving so fast I can’t process even one thought. Anxious and full of anxiety I’m a 1/2 step away from a panic attack if I’m lucky. Try not to lose it all the way. Don’t want to go back to the hospital. That would be and has been to hard on my kids to see mom go to the hospital. Why, I always wonder knowing I won’t hear anything back. Feel like I’m screaming but nothing comes out. This is how I feel when I am at my worst. I’m now on the tail end coming out of the fog that is manic. Then comes the guilt of feeling bad about myself. What did the kids see or go through? (I don’t always remember everything during an episode) What did my husband have to deal with? And yet he still loves me unconditionally. The clouds are parting and now I am feeling better. The Nascar thoughts are starting to slow down. The depression stays though. Depression is the one constant. Manic depression or depression from being in a manic. Depression from my past and everything.
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It’s only a matter of time. Try to think about bright things you’d like to achieve, take care of yourself (even though i know ir’s very hard to do when on depression). Look at the positive side: up and down phases never last forever
By the way, i’ve added you in my blogroll
Liv
http://chroniquesouslithium.wordpress.com/
I added your link as well. Thank you for the kind words.
If it helps… I think I’m going through similar shit myself. I hope to god it ends soon. Try doing some joga or relaxing breathing if you can. Lie down and take a deep slow breath, when you exhale imagine your hands getting warm or whatever else you think might relax you (cool water or something).
I do use breathing tech. Everyday I feel a little better. I always pray that I feel better more than depressed. Each day is a new one and each good day is a blessing.
So are you feeling any better?
I am starting to. Thanks for asking. It’s a slow process. I’ve learned to take one day at a time and each good day is a blessing. How are you doing?
I am doing fine, Thank you for asking.
I hope that you are feeling better
You are right about taking every day at a time! The less we have, the more happy we are. What do you think about it?
I agree. More can feel like chaos.